Tesla's FSD in China
Alright, so we’ve got a Tesla in China running Full Self-Driving (FSD), and let me tell you—it’s a wild ride. Not in the “hold on for dear life” kind of way, but in the “wow, this thing actually works in a place where traffic is basically a free-for-all” kind of way.
First off, if you’ve never seen Chinese traffic in action, let me paint a picture for you. Imagine a chaotic mix of electric scooters zipping in and out, pedestrians treating crosswalks like vague suggestions, and entire families riding on a single motorbike. It’s like New York City, but with fewer traffic laws and more creative interpretations of right-of-way. Now throw Tesla’s FSD into that mess and ask yourself: Can this thing actually handle it?
Spoiler: It kind of does. And that’s both impressive and slightly terrifying.
The School Zone Test: Because No One Wants a Speed Demon Near Kids
The driver kicks off the test in front of a school, which is probably one of the best places to prove whether FSD has any common sense. And you know what? It does. Instead of doing anything sketchy, the car creeps forward cautiously, like a nervous teenager on their first driving lesson. It slows down when needed, doesn’t take unnecessary risks, and basically behaves like an experienced driver who’s overly paranoid about their insurance premiums.
And if you’re worried about it randomly flooring it? Don’t be. Even if you stomp on the accelerator, FSD just goes, “Nah, we’re not doing that here.” Which, honestly, is exactly how a self-driving car should behave when there are kids around.
City Streets: Dodging Scooters, Pedestrians, and the Unexpected
Alright, next up: busy city streets. This is where things get real, because in China, the rules of the road are more of a guideline than an actual system. People cut in, pedestrians cross wherever they feel like it, and random electric trikes pop out of nowhere like NPCs in a video game.
The Tesla? It handles it surprisingly well. The steering is steady, it doesn’t swerve like a panicked human driver, and when two pedestrians suddenly appear in front of the car, FSD slams the brakes like a pro. No hesitation. No last-minute panic. Just a clean, controlled stop.
And then there’s the tricycle situation. You ever get stuck behind someone driving like they’ve got all the time in the world? That’s what happens here. The driver, clearly more impatient than FSD, gives the car a little push with the accelerator. Tesla obeys, but not in a reckless way—it still keeps its safe distance and doesn’t try anything stupid.
This is the kind of thing that makes you go, “Okay, maybe this self-driving thing isn’t total sci-fi after all.”
The Pedestrian Standoff: When AI Meets Human Stubbornness
Then we get to a classic self-driving nightmare: the pedestrian street standoff. You know the drill—there’s a small opening, but nobody wants to be the one to move first. The Tesla hesitates, trying to decide if it should squeeze through. Meanwhile, human drivers would just go for it, sometimes even creating their own lanes in the process. But FSD? It plays it safe.
Now, this is where people start nitpicking. Why doesn’t it just push through? Well, because if it misjudges the space and clips a pedestrian, guess who’s getting sued? Not the AI. The car owner. And let’s be real, no one wants their Tesla making headlines for accidentally yeeting a pedestrian just because it wanted to flex its “confidence” in traffic.
The Big Takeaway: It Works, But With a Safety Bias
At the end of the day, Tesla’s FSD in China isn’t some reckless AI trying to mimic human road rage. It’s actually pretty damn cautious. It creeps forward when needed, holds back when things look dicey, and doesn’t get lured into the aggressive driving culture that’s normal for human drivers.
Could it be faster? Sure. Could it be more aggressive? Definitely. But would you trust it more if it was? Probably not. Because at the end of the day, the whole point of FSD is to be safer than humans, not just as chaotic as we are.
So yeah, call me impressed. Tesla FSD isn’t just surviving in China—it’s proving it can handle the kind of traffic that would make most Western self-driving systems cry. And that? That’s a big deal.
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